So on my cruise around the net today I came up with some pretty cool stuff . . . there happens to be a service in Atlanta that you can pay $269 to join the mile high club

Then some chick on webshots has the pussy lip control to hold a dollar bill between her lips while wearing spandex . . . I guess that is neat.

Simone over at Points In Case decides to breakdown each type of girl you will run into on the college campus . . . she hits a bunch of them right on the mark and is definately worth the read

Last but not least I am gonna spin you some wierd shit . . . we found a directory of pictures of what I can only tell is a nerd and his girlfriend just playing around with the camera and pushing the nudity hand. But the more I flipped through these I noticed that he was wearing a thong made out of tin foil . . . am I the only one that finds that odd?

Lets take some time to add another naughty girl to the roster . . . today I bring you the super hottie Cute Kim . . . she is a friend of my boy Jason and she wanted to make some money online like most these sluts do. So he was kind enough to take some pictures and shit to get her started. Anyhow . . . Cute Kim is a sexy blonde chick that seems to love dildos in her pussy . . . can’t complain about that can we?! I have set up some sample pictures from the tour over at Cute Kim’s website. So hit that more button and check em out.

CLICK HERE FOR CUTE KIM’S WEBSITE

Naughty Empire’s Cute Kim Pictures

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Well shitboy . . . seems like some college dude in Idaho decided that he would take his astute knowledge of making things and his love for beer and make The Ultimate Beer Bong

Basically it looks like a monster hooka . . . but it is probably the coolest thing I have seen all day

I’m getting one

Follow the more link for pictures of the ultimate beer bong

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Ashley is my least favorite of the O Twins . . . but she is still a cutie . . . but nothing compared to Mary Kate. Anyhow . . . I guess the other night Ashley Olsen was out doing what other billionaire teenagers do . . . and she happened to show off a little too much skin. Her low cut shirt almosts gives you the side shot of her boobies . . . which are very small might I add.

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The sun is out and the view is beautiful this week. You’re feeling like an almond joy. Sometimes you feel like a nut sometimes you don’t. Well this week you should shake off the dust and feel like one. It’s a good time of year to give someone a candy bar.. maybe two. I want you to put yourself in a state of Zen by focusing on the top 5 sounds that make you feel good and then go out and experience at least 3 of the five this week. Think of it as a homework assignment. Below I will breakdown mine.

1. A women moaning “Aye papi” really loud
2. The idle of a nice straight pipe V8
3. The rev of a 10,000 rpm motorcycle
4. The sound of booming bass in a stereo
5. I women moaning “Don’t Stop, Don’t Stop”

It’s a work in progress but for now that’s my list. So here’s my plan. I will ride my motorcycle to my girlfriend’s house doing 100 at 10,000 rpm. We will do it in her car which happens to have a really nice idling V8 while I jam her stereo on like 11 on the volume knob. In between songs if I am lucky I will here “I papi” and “Don’t Stop” at least once each before I engage in what I like to call my “O” face which has been described similar to a diabetic seizure. I will then proceed to reflect on my homework assignment feeling proud that I will be giving myself an A, wondering if everyone else had the same kinda luck I plan on having.

And if all goes well, I will give her that almond joy while I am addressed as Mr. Goodbar. So if you know someone who could use a candy bar this is the week to treat.

Well it is time for another great site release by yours truly . . . We just launched Real Arizona Amateurs and you guys get a first shot at seeing it. Guess there are some perks to coming here day in and day out!

Anyhow . . . basically what we have over at Real Arizona Amateurs is a bunch of never seen before chicks from . . . Arizona - go fucking figure. There are only about 2 girls that have ever been on the internet before in our collection of Arizona amateur teens. Real Arizona Amateurs is packed with full length movies of these girls and their boyfriends just looking to pick up some extra cash by having sex on camera.

These are so real that you even get some premature busts and all kinds of crazy shit - all and all just really good amateur porn.

Of course I’ve got some free pictures for ya just click on the “more” link below to see them

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So I was cruising College Humor and came across this great little picture gallery of some hottie blonde showering her self in Budweiser . . . mmmmmm. I know they say beer is good for your hair but for some reason I really don’t think that is what she was going for . . . probably the wet t-shirt is what tipped me off. Anyhow . . . this girlie is cute - click more for the pics

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Well . . . going around looking at some euro websites I ran into this complete hottie from the netherlands ( i think ). Her name is Bridget Maasland and she is one smoking hot blonde. I have gathered up a bunch of scans of her pictures from her April issue of FHM that the dutch folk get.

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Hmm . . . while there really hasn’t been dick happening in the world that has any sort of excitement. However . . . some wanna be killer whale decided to impregnate a bottlenose dolphin and ended up becoming the father of the first Whale-Dolphin Hybrid . . . guess that falls under the interracial cradle robbing niche.

Those dudes that write for Deadwood have an insatiable apetite to drop the f-bomb . . . and some fucking loser decided to go through and count em . . .
Total fucks in series: 1519
Cumulative series FPM: 1.45

Total fucks in Season Two: 688
Average fucks per episode: 98.3
Cumulative Season Two FPM: 1.84

Total fucks in Season One: 831
Average fucks per episode: 69.3
Cumulative Season One FPM: 1.23

What the Fuck?

May 3rd is “No Pants Day” so start shopping for sexy panties girls

Whoever sent me this link to Abstinence Only will be getting a swift kick to the balls if I find out who you are . . . this is a PORN RELATED SITE . . .

Anyhow . . . I am done with this . . .

So this chick must have slipped past me in some other life . . . but she is a hottie for sure. These are some pictures pulled from various shoots of the oh so sexy Katherine Heigl. I really like the school girl looking one

So its not porn . . . but it is still cool as shit.

The other day me and a couple of friends decided to roll down to the orlando improv to see colin quinn . . . one of the best comedians around in my eyes. So after laughing my ass off for a couple of hours we decide it is time to go home. We are walking out of the comedy club and turn the corner and bam . . . Colin Quinn is just sitting there on the side of the building smoking a cigar.

So I decided that I would stroll up and say hi . . . anyhow - 30 minutes later after bullshitting about porn and cigars it was time for us to roll . . .

Real quick post on a kick ass picture of a new age bikini. This looks like something out of the future but it is oh so sexy!

Like I said . . . every Friday my boy Lee will be kicking the tone of the weekend off with his moral advisories! Here is this weeks:

Well the weekend past and you survived. It wasn’t as eventful as you would have liked but you lived a little. This week brought much of the same drama you’re usually accustomed to. You need to shake things up a bit and get the planets re-aligned in your favor.

Everyone knows that one hottie that gives off the vibe that she has dirty potential but you just haven’t worked your game in that direction before. Well this is your week. Get in the mix a little, stop being the outsider and work it like a tip starving topless dancer.

Don’t worry about pushing the envelope. The lines are meant to be blurred this weekend and be positive!!!! If you hold her nose long enough she is bound to open her mouth to breath sooner or later and there is your window J Kick your game, say things you normally wouldn’t say and remember it’s better to ask for forgiveness then to seek out permission. If you get yelled at for smackin her ass, all good. 9 out of ten times you will get cursed out but that #10!!! Damn it man.. lol It’s worth the risk and in the process you had the opportunity of having 9 other asses that you touched to compare it too J

National statistics show that 1 out of every 50 women love to take it in the eye. 1 out of every 30 women will take it in the ass and 1 out of every 14 women will have sex on the first date with the proper amount of money and alcohol. Basic statistics would prove that your chances of encountering one of these fallen angels is pretty high. So get to the game and put your balls in the net. We will compare stories next week. And if you have none to share, you’re at a good website that will help you fill your sock…. L8R

So I got some inspiration from my boys over at College Humor today . . . people need to be told shit every day for it to sink in. So out came the idea for the new section here at Naughty Empire

Title ‘Learn Something’, I plan on bringing you 5 pieces of factual shit that will help you be a better person and educate you in the useless ways of the world. Whether it is rigging your jacuzzi with a beer bong or simply making your jacuzzi a bong . . . you will learn the ways grasshoppa

So to start out the section I am bringing you the first 5 things you need to learn!

1) You’re in a girl’s bed about to make those sweet love motions for the first time. You say, “Hold on, let me get a condom.” If she says, “It’s OK, I’ve got some.”, leave immediately. There’s a good chance you got the Crabs just by putting your head on the pillow. (from Josh @ College Humor)
2) So what if Chloe 18 has fake braces . . . and her tits are so small that she doesn’t need a bra . . . and she takes lots of school girl type pictures . . . get where I am going with this - thank god we have legal proof that she is 18!
3) In case you live in a hole . . . Brittany Spears and Kevin Federline are having a baby
4) Tomorrow is the fucking tax deadline . . . guess it is time to file for an extension
5) The bigger you are the more monogamous you will be according to a study of a bunch of german dudes - Fat men are more faithful . . . which makes sense if you think about it!

The my buddy over at The Sex Blog just posted a gallery of a chick that was in Playboy a while back that deserves some love from the naughty empire.

The girls name is Stephanie Eve and as I said she comes to us from Playboy! Dave has a great 20+ pic gallery or so of Stephanie Eve so be sure to head over to his site from the link below . . . here is a quick sample picture of Stephanie from The Sex Blog gallery.

http://www.thesexblog.com/index.php?info=1553

Except for the hairy arms . . . this latina chick may have the sexiest camel toe picture on the net right now . . .

Looks like some spanish porn site put these pictures up and they caught my eye so I guess I will pass the goodness down to you guys

http://www.polladas.com/vecinitas/hotteen.html

Oh boy . . . my friends over at beer.com just launched the sequel to their ever famous Virtual Bartender program. For those that don’t have a clue - in the first version you got to boss around a hottie bartender to make you drinks . . .

Well now in Virtual Bartender 2 you get just that . . . 2! Two bartenders are better than one and now they do cool shit like kiss and strip . . . kinda . . .

For more cool commands check out boogies post about virtual bartender 2

What the fuck? Celebrities love to let their cellphones lay around and be found by some stranger! Anyhow . . . first it was Charlotte Church Topless Pictures and Paris’s cellphone and now we bring you Vida Guerra’s Cellphone Pictures!

You may know Vida Guerra as the spicey latina chick from Desperate Housewives but I know her as the chick that got her cellphone misplaced and has a bunch of pussy pics up on the net right now!

Here’s the rest of Vida Guerra’s Cell Phone Pictures

Found this while I was reading todays post on College Humor . . . how much better could it be while you are deep dogging your chick and making her squeal . . . while she has a pig tail sticking out of her ass!

http://www.extremerestraints.com/html2/prods/EC718.html

Who would have known that beneath all the bananas and monkey shit . . . there was such fine women! I am bringing you some pretty shitty quality pictures of the endangered species better known as cheerleaderus argentinius. I found these kick ass pictures of these super hot and scantily clad Argentinian Cheerleaders at what is probably a soccer game or something . . .

THE ONLY ARGENTINIAN PORN SITE I HAVE EVER SEEN . . .

Any how check out these pictures of the Argentinian Cheerleaders: