Archive for the 'Learn Something' Category

Paris Hilton Whores herself out for Hurricane Victims

Wednesday, October 5th, 2005

From the Double Agent

Jamie Foxx recently took bids for dates with several stars at a charity bash held in Miami Beach to aid the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Paris Hilton was brought to tears when one bidder offered $200,000 to spend New Year’s Eve with her.“It’s so generous. I’m crying right now,” she said.

Colin Farrell was also on the block that night. When nervous bidders weren’t forthcoming with their bids, Foxx asked for group bids.

A group of 10 friends bid $10,000 for a date with Farrell, while another woman doubled it for her own one-night stand.

Farrell also helped to up the funds himself by paying $50,000 for a portrait of the late Ray Charles.

I am all about the selling off ass . . . $200k for Paris though . . . that bid had better be fueled by lost loved ones or a shear love of humanity.

Christians Rule of Thumb for Porn

Tuesday, October 4th, 2005

This is from http://www.sexinchrist.com/pornography.html

Many readers have written in to ask us about pornography. Is it acceptable for Christians to view adult entertainment? Our stance on pornography is directly informed by our position on sex and sexuality with regards to Christianity. Depending on the circumstances, the act of intercourse can be either a defilement of the body and soul through lust and indulgence of the senses, or it can be a celebration of God-given sexuality that uplifts the bodies and spirits of both partners. Likewise, pornography could be either degrading and sinful (as it almost always is), or it could depict acts that, when viewed appropriately, could enhance the sexual and sensual relationships of believers.
Erotica with Biblical Foundations

Consider the Song of Solomon, a deeply sensual and erotic book of the Bible, which describes in lyrical detail the sexual and romantic relationship between a bride and bridegroom. Their dialogue relates to spiritual matters, but relates spirituality through a loving physical relationship between husband and wife. This is the model of erotic “edutainment” that we are proposing. We believe that under the right circumstances, and given the correct content, such adult media has the potential to enrich the sexual lives of married Christian partners.

Of course, there is little, if any adult entertainment currently on the market that reflects these values and would be a good choice for Christians. That leads us to call for a new kind of porn – porn that upholds the Christian ethos. Christ-centered porn, made to be viewed by Christians and tailored to their unique needs. We challenge Christians in the adult industry (yes, they do exist – and you know who you are) to step up and truly walk their walk and live their faith by producing pornography that men and women of God can view without compromising their relationship with their Savior, or their relationship with their spouse.

Christians have so many questions about sexuality: what is acceptable or not, how to express sexual desires to their husband or wife, how to have a more fulfilling sex life, and much more. Unfortunately, few in the church are willing to talk openly and in detail about these matters. Most sexual guides for Christians are vague or coy, glossing over graphic details. Believers need sexual resources that are unafraid to actually demonstrate and show them what healthy sexuality in a Christian marriage looks like. For these reasons, we believe there is both a need and a demand for Christian adult entertainment, and so we are issuing this manifesto calling for a new paradigm in pornography.
Toward a Framework for Christian Porn

* It must depict only married couples engaging in sexual acts.
This means that any sexual partners in a Christian porn production must be husband and wife, both on and off screen. All actors must be married in real life and portray married couples onscreen. And they must only be depicted having sex with their wedded spouses.
* It must portray sex within the context of a Christian marriage.
It must be apparent through the actions, behaviors, and speech of the characters portrayed that they are Christian, lead a Christian lifestyle, and have a marriage in which their faith is central. This could be depicted in a variety of ways, with scenes showing a couple praying together, studying the Bible, attending church or church functions, and generally relating to one another as loving Christian spouses outside of the bedroom.
* It must be instructional.
Part of the mission of Christian pornography is to graphically educate married believers in how to achieve more sexual pleasure, intimacy, and closeness in their relationships. It can do this by dramatizing various sexual techniques and positions so that couples can learn how to incorporate them into their lovemaking routines. In their onscreen roles, the actors should model both correct sexual techniques and appropriate sexual attitudes, by being respectful and treating one another’s bodies as the sacred gift from God that they are.
* Husband and wife must both receive their due benevolence.
This is in keeping with the scriptural mandate of I Corinthians 7:3, which says “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” This means that both sex partners must be shown getting equal pleasure and sexual attention from one another.
* No extramarital sex, unless it is to illustrate the downfalls of adultery.
The spouses in a Christian porn production must never have adulterous relations, unless they (and their partner in extramarital crime) suffer and are punished fittingly for their sins. (In deference to modern conventions, the punishment does not have to be one mandated by scripture, i.e., being stoned to death.)
* It must be uplifting and inspirational, focusing on strengthening Christian marriage and Christian faith.
Christian porn must have an overall positive message. Of course, its primary message would be to demonstrate the sacred use of sexuality and sensuality to reinforce the bonds of Christian marriage. But in all other respects, it should affirm Christian values of community, family, faith, honesty, charity, and so forth. It should show that having a joyous and fulfilling married sex life is one of the fruits of following the path of righteousness.
* No profanity.
Although exclamations of pleasure are acceptable, as are the natural sounds and vocalizations of lovemaking, Christian porn should contain no profanity or swearing. The participants should address each other lovingly and respectfully at all times. Of course, it goes without saying that the actors will not take the Lord’s name in vain, nor that of his Son.

The Correct Use of Christian Porn
The primary purpose of Christian pornography is to allow married Christian couples to better celebrate their sexuality in order to become more intimate with each other and enjoy a closer walk with the Lord. We envision married couples watching these films or videos together, using them to initiate a frank and open dialogue about sexuality and their own sexual relationship, and then applying the techniques illustrated in the films and incorporating them into their own lovemaking. Watching Christian porn is not intended to replace sex in the marriage, nor is its purpose simply to arouse the sexual appetites of the husband and wife, but to encourage them to use their sexual drives to a higher purpose.

The point of Christian pornography is not to provide material for the fantasies of individuals to use for their own gratification or to fuel masturbation. Although masturbation in itself is not wrong, the highest purpose of Christian porn is to enrich the sexual relationship between believers. It is not primarily intended to be used by individuals to inflame their own desires or as a substitute for a relationship. Under some circumstances, an individual might be justified in viewing this material on his or her own. For example, if the purpose of viewing the pornography is ultimately in the service of the marriage, if a man wanted to become better instructed in how to please his wife orally, or if a wife needed help getting in touch with her sexuality in order to be more open to intimacy with her husband.

Likewise, a single person might find Christian porn instructional if it better prepares them for relating to their future spouse. One of the complaints against conventional pornography is that it creates unrealistic expectations about sex and warps the viewer’s attitudes towards sexuality and the opposite sex. This argument could not be made against Christian porn, because it would be presenting a healthy and realistic representation of married Christian sexual life, and would be modeling correct and respectful husband-wife relationships, creating a positive vision for what can be expected in a future marriage.

Labia Stretching

Sunday, October 2nd, 2005

Ahh fuck run now!

I came across this gem flipping through some alternative porn after hearing about the demise of the greatest alt site out there . . .
Anyhow . . . lets get down to the important shit . . . who wants to get together and stretch their labias?!

labia stretch

From ancient tribal times, Labia Stretching is an ancient and enduring practice, immersed in mystery and intrigue to all whom come upon it. It takes a unique breed of women who literally takes it into their own hands to stretch and elongate their inner vaginal lips to unimaginable lengths. One can only wonder what it must feel like to run thy hand through the unending lengths of a woman’s elongated vaginal lips

http://www.labiastretching.com/

Lookout for them pesky pornographers!

Tuesday, September 27th, 2005

Italian vacationers admiring the view from a fairground Ferris wheel at the Munich Oktoberfest got more than they bargained for when a porn shoot suddenly began inside their cabin, authorities said on Friday.

Having settled down to enjoy a leisurely spin on the wheel at the famous beer festival, the group of Italians were quite unprepared for the arrival of two men toting cameras and a woman who started to use a vibrator.

Unable to stop the shoot, the Italians informed local police, who promptly arrested the actress and her crew, a political scientist and a 25-year-old student.

“They said they weren’t doing it for commercial reasons but that they wanted to see how visitors would react,” police said. The three have been charged with public indecency.

Moving to France to watch the News with Melissa Theuriau

Saturday, September 10th, 2005

I don’t give a shit if I can’t speak French . . . my ass is getting on the next plane to France and I will stay in my hotel watching the news for an entire week. Not only will this be a great learning experience for me . . . but I may also set the world record for pulling the pud in a week.

Why you may ask? Melissa Theuriau – she is a french newscaster like no other . . . she may as well be turned into the Goddess of News

I have a bunch of these pictures but I am gonna post them 4 at a time to string you fuckers along:

Melissa Theuriau Melissa Theuriau
Melissa Theuriau Melissa Theuriau pics

Stripper Stabs Customer

Friday, September 2nd, 2005

Just another reason why I despise strip clubs . . . check this shit out

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – An angry San Diego topless dancer pulled out a knife and stabbed a customer after he refused a lap dance, police said on Thursday.

Lawanda Dixon, 24, was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon shortly after the altercation with 33-year-old Melik Jordan at the Dream Girls Cabaret early on Wednesday, San Diego police Det. Gary Hassen said.

“He was in the club with some friends watching the shows when she came up and asked if he wanted a lap dance,” Hassen said. “He said no, she got upset about it, they argued back and forth. She pulled knife out of her bag and stabbed him.”

Dixon was taken into custody and police found methamphetamine in a small metal container in Dixon’s bag, Hassen said, adding that she may face drug charges. Officers also confiscated a small folding knife.

Jordan was treated for his injuries and released by a local hospital.

10 of the worst pickup lines

Friday, September 2nd, 2005

Your eyes meet across a crowded room… the atmosphere is charged with desire… you approach, cool and composed… and knock ‘em dead with a line like…

1. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

2. I’m new in town, could I have directions to your house?

3. You have to tell me your name, because last night in my dreams, I could only call you ‘baby’…

4. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock…

5. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

6. At the office copy machine “Reproducing eh? Can I help?”

7. Hi I’m conducting a feel test of how many women have pierced nipples…

8. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come and talk to you…

9. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you…

10. Have you ever played naked leap frog?

Jesus and A Gun

Thursday, September 1st, 2005

This post is basically written to comment on my buddy Jay’s ultimate thought output on the recent tragedy in the south. Here is a quick excerpt of his post

It’s a real pity what happened to New Orleans – the town rivals even Vegas as a top-notch Den of Iniquity — great food, great culture, and just a damn good time. New Orleans is easily one of my favorite places on this Earth — it will always have a special place in my heart and rotting liver. It is my fondest hope that The Big Easy can return to its former glory soon, so I may bask in its decadence once again.

Ridiculously enough — Louisiana Governor, Kathleen Blanco, thinks we should have a day of Prayer to save her storm ravaged state. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense…definitely a lot more sense that helping the Army Corp of Engineers patching the two football-sized holes in the levees that are the cities only line of defense against 30 feet of watery death. It sure would help a lot more evacuating the 30,000 people still trapped with no toilets or electricity in the Superdome. Phew! Maybe you can just have Moses grab everyone on the Ark?

Read the rest Jays Sex Blog

Basically he could not have put it better . . . take some action and donate time or money . . . I know you have one or the other
Red Cross Donation Form

I don’t give a shit if it is $10 bucks . . . you fuckers better help out.

Spit or Swallow?

Wednesday, August 31st, 2005

Swallow!

The only thing better than hooking up with a new girl is when she starts sucking your dick for the first time.
She does everything right (no teeth, plays with your balls, etc…) and then she looks up at you with those gorgeous eyes while your dick is in her mouth and says those magical words: “Warn me!”
FUCK!!! Now everything changes. You can’t enjoy yourself as much because NOW you have to focus on not blowing your load in her mouth before you ‘pull out’ because if THAT happens- your chances of fucking her are slim to none.

Don’t panic! Check out this site: http://www.dontspitswallow.com/ which shows all the benefits of ’swallowing’. Be sure to make it seem like you ran across this site ‘accidentally’ while doing important online research (instead of looking at porn;-)
While she is getting her education on how to suck you dry…
You can get your fix at: The Big Swallow
And if you say something stupid like “My last girlfriend swallowed” be sure to end that sentence with something like “and it cured her cancer!”

Penis Scratcher

Sunday, August 28th, 2005

So I am reading all the odd shit that happens in the world off of the Reuters news wire this morning and I stumble across an article about a guy in germany that was caught scratching giant penis’ into a bunch of cars in a parking lot. Funny thing is the police suspect he is also responsible for 100’s of more pecker scratchings around the country . . . totaling around 350E in damage.

So I am thinking he is the same fuck that probably scratches his ex girlfriends name into the bathroom stall wall with her phone number and “Call for a good time”. The dude pleaded insanity and is now peeling the foil off those little chocolate easters eggs candies that are a motherfucker to eat.